Woke up this morning with this deep knowing inside that I'm going to be all right.  It's not an intellectual knowing or because of some doctor's comments.  It's just a feeling. My body felt a little perculating of happiness today.  It's similar to the way we feel  when we're cozy in bed.  The air is cool, the blankets warm and we have a sense of contentment within. Yes, there's still pain and I have some gruelling days ahead of me.  Two chemo treatments tomorrow (a powerful combination that took days to feel better last time) ....but  I am on the home stretch now.  Two more weeks to go.  Next week will be the final week of chemo.  The fourth week they will fill me with lots of life giving blood that will create new bone marrow tissue (They have it down to a science).  If the treatment of the past 4 weeks has been successful, I will have achieved remission!
Through the efforts of my boyfriend, Peter, we now have all the appropriate doctors consulting as a team on my case and immediately things began to improve. I got on new heart meditation (which I avoided vehemently before because of the side effects -- but whaddya gonna do?)   I was pretty much in a constant Afit over the last week days, which just exsaperbates everything. 

I've been amazed, humbled, grateful, suprised and felt deeply, deeply  loved by all the visitors who have come or called. Some I haven't spoken to in many, many years and it has been healing to hear their voice and reconnect.

I long to just step outside the hospital and take in a big gulp of fresh San Diego Air!  That day will come and something tells me that this experience will have changed my life for the better in many ways.

Much love to you all..... Heidi