Hi Everyone,

A Christmas gift came in the form of a HUGE boost of energy today!  I woke up and immediately felt something was different.... like when you have a bad flu and one morning wake up knowing you have turned a corner -- energy, inspiration flowing, appetite better, more alert.   Whatever the reason for this shift, I am grateful to feel among the living.  Took a 30 min. (!) walk down the hospital hallways...connecting with patients, nurses and doctors, looking out the windows on this floor at the grey rainy skies and rain-soaked hills.  The usual Christmas decor strewn here and there on this floor looked magical to me.  Perhaps at another time I would have seen it as "plastic" and "fake" -- but today it was pure beauty, down to the sugary candy canes and clumped silver tinsel!

On the reverse side of things, I have also been experiencing different and more intense types of pain in the last few days.  But the miracles of Western Medicine came to my rescue in the form of a very powerful pain killer (which ordinarily I would try my hardest to keep from taking).  Under the circumstances I willingly, gratefully and eagerly take it.  Once it begins to work its wonders, I start to feel the pain ebbing from my nerve endings (and beginnings!).  I have realized that all the energy used in dealing with the pain can now be directed into more positive feelings.  So my latest mantra is:  God bless pain killers! 

Am still waiting to see if the spinal chemo treatment will happen today.  All depends on my blood counts.  As the day progresses, however, it seems less likely that this will occur.....

I'm not sure which angels or devas or mystical Christmas elves may be sprinkling blessings of good feelings into my body and spirit, but for the first time in 6 weeks I feel a deep sense of well being despite my present circumstances.  

Thank you again for your continued interest in my welfare, for your love, prayers and friendship....

Heidi