Catching up from yesterday.....  Home now, but seemed to have triple the nausea than before, and ended up sleeping most of the day.  One of my next door neighbors has made me her volunteer "Christmas project" so comes by several times a day, fixes my means, shops, and pretty much anything else I might need.  I feel so fortunate for this type of flow right now.  What I need is showing up without a whole lot of effort on my part.  Makes me feel a sort of mystical support, an "unseen" hand working on my behalf behind the obvious brick and mortar of this third dimension.

Today I have a very significant appt. with my main oncologist, Dr. Pollikoff.  He's a wonderful doctor and the senior oncologist at Kaiser (voted best overal doc at Kaiser for 2010).  Peter is going with me for make sure we get all our questions answered, and for moral support.  We will find out of the treatment thus far has put me into remission.  If it has, most likely next week I'll start the next phase of the treatment having to do with my spinal fluid and brain which will bring me back into the hospital for another several weeks.

Coming home had a soothing quality, for sure....but I felt a strange kind of aloneness, after having been surrounded by so many people (nurses, doctors, friends) at the hosp.  It was a good aloneness because it was uncomfortable, so I knew I had some inner work to do to be  at peace.  Meditation, reading a little, and having my neighbor/friend in and out got me through the day. More than being alone, I think it was just feeling so on my own so soon....no ability to know what my blood counts are, or how I'm doing otherwise..... It's been a month now since I got Leukemia and the relentless tiredness (am very restricted in what I can do) is a challenge for my Aires nature!  Today I will find out when my energy is due back.

Stay tuned on this blog as I will post the results of the doctor's visit a bit later in the day!  I'm counting on, claiming, and knowing it will be GOOD news!

Love to you all,  Heidi