Good morning my dear family and friends,  I woke up early today, around 5, and tuned into the silence of the early morning (minus all the little beeps and  whirls the machines round me make -- and the clammer of the nurses station outside my door.  All of this is quite a lot of noise when you think about it.  How nice to find a kernel deep, contemplative silence right in the heart bustling hospital.

This morning has definitely brought my contemplative side to the fore.  As I lay in bed at 5 a.m. I gently asked to be given insight about this illness, all aspects of it, most importantly why it has come to visit me in this lifetime.  What are its gifts?  It's lessons? I want to look at my part with brutal honesty.  This process was about allowing and opening, and not thinking.  I felt a sensation in my body -- a pulling down, a heaviness.  It felt like the weight of stress I've been carrying for so many years -- part of which has been because of my predisposition, personality, and on and on.  The clarity of the sensation (which was body/mind) was pure, revelatory, and very instructive.

I went to deeper levels and saw more.  Actually, a puzzle appeared behind my closed eyes with a number of pieces already filled in.  I took this to mean that there are things I already know.    One of the biggest pieces -- it looked like the state of Montana -- had the word FAITH on it.  Thas has always been a big one for me.  I will continue this inner journey now each day

The outer journey kicks up a notch today with two chemo treatments.  I actually got brave and read about the one called Vincristine...a rather sweet name for such a deadly (controlled) killer!  One drop on your skin causes severe skin problems.  But I will welcome it into my body with open arms (cells) and allow full reign over my blood, knowing that God is in the medicine, even this medicine.  Where is God not?

Going into my third week next week will be like finally seeing the finish line.  Two more chemos next week and then the rebirthing of my marrow will take place and I will be feeling a whole lot better!

Love to each of you.