Hi Everyone,
Turns out my right coronary artery was about 80-90% blocked and they put a stent in. The "before and after" pictures were dramatic. I realized I've been so focused on the Leukemia this past year, that I've been ignoring or "explaining away" as chemo side effects some classic signs of heart disease, like pretty regular pain under my left arm. Thank goodness Peter and I were together Friday night and his "sense" was very strong about going to the ER. I too felt something was very different than I had ever experienced before; was doubled over with chest pain. Would I have gone to the ER on my own? Hard question to answer. I think so. I feel I averted a major, life-threatening heart attack!
When the doctor recommended an angiogram I immediately felt a "yes" and truly felt a sense of peace, almost joy (!) waiting for the procedure Monday morning. 10 mins. into it I heard, "We've found a blockage," (due to plague build up) and the stent went in painlessly. More blood to the heart equals more oxygen, more energy. It should help all around.
I feel like the luckiest person, having caught this. It's pretty much the main artery into the heart!
On Monday I also heard they only found ONE (!) white blood cell in my spinal fluid and no irregular (cancerr=looking) cells. I don't think it's been that low since the massive relapse last summer.
So all in all, things are good. Am focusing now on beginning again to build my immune system and committing to a super heart-healthy diet.
Love to all,
Heidi
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
Saturday, February 16, 2013
Here we go again!
Hi everyone,
Well, right on target (usually every 3-4 weeks) another twist in the road...this one regarding my heart. Last night Peter and I had a wonderful Valentine's date. We went to the most amazing Russian restaurant and had a delicious meal. Following that, we were on our way to a concert..... He dropped me off and parked the car. By the time he got back to me, sitting on an outside bench, I was doubled over with chest pain. It went away after about 20 mins. only to come back even stronger about 20 mins. later. I knew in my gut something wasn't right. We left immediately and came over to -- yes, my home away from home -- the Kaiser ER -- only to find that my heart enzyme was elevated and kept getting elevated through the night.
We just met with the nicest caridiologist who recommended an angiogram to look for clots. I'm on a blood thinner now until Monday morning, when the procedure is scheduled. If they find anything, they will take care of it "on the spot". I immediately felt a "yes" to the procedure. We shall see what, if anything, it shows!
Better be safe than sorry as the saying goes. Better than going home (or not having come in at all) and having an unexpected heart attack of all things! Phew, I NEVER expected this!
Just seems to be par for the course right now. But memories of our special dinner still fill my heart. It was fun being out together in my black fishnet hose and fun new boots. A girl needs that every now and then!
Your prayers Monday morning and afternoon (not sure exactly when the procedure will be) are greatly appreciated! Another weekend in the hospital. Can you believe it?
Love to you all,
Heidi
Well, right on target (usually every 3-4 weeks) another twist in the road...this one regarding my heart. Last night Peter and I had a wonderful Valentine's date. We went to the most amazing Russian restaurant and had a delicious meal. Following that, we were on our way to a concert..... He dropped me off and parked the car. By the time he got back to me, sitting on an outside bench, I was doubled over with chest pain. It went away after about 20 mins. only to come back even stronger about 20 mins. later. I knew in my gut something wasn't right. We left immediately and came over to -- yes, my home away from home -- the Kaiser ER -- only to find that my heart enzyme was elevated and kept getting elevated through the night.
We just met with the nicest caridiologist who recommended an angiogram to look for clots. I'm on a blood thinner now until Monday morning, when the procedure is scheduled. If they find anything, they will take care of it "on the spot". I immediately felt a "yes" to the procedure. We shall see what, if anything, it shows!
Better be safe than sorry as the saying goes. Better than going home (or not having come in at all) and having an unexpected heart attack of all things! Phew, I NEVER expected this!
Just seems to be par for the course right now. But memories of our special dinner still fill my heart. It was fun being out together in my black fishnet hose and fun new boots. A girl needs that every now and then!
Your prayers Monday morning and afternoon (not sure exactly when the procedure will be) are greatly appreciated! Another weekend in the hospital. Can you believe it?
Love to you all,
Heidi
Sunday, February 10, 2013
A Wonderful Art Show and GOOD News!
My dear ones,
I got news on Friday that my white blood count in spinal fluid was a mere two! (down from 1600 about 3 weeks ago) with no signs of cancer cells. I've been elated ever since. Truly elated. Coming a day before doing two art shows -- one at the Quail Gardens in Encinitas and the other at a Yoga studio in Vista.... well, the news couldn't have come at a better time. For many months now, I've been in and out of the hospital or coping with some pain, "setback," or other tedius situation. This weekend, the clouds opened up, the sun is shining, flowers are beginning to bloom along the roadside in North County San Diego -- it is a metaphor for stepping back into life again. Yes, my energy, physically, is extremely low, but my heart energy, my enjoyment, the fun I'm having showing about 30 pieces between the two shows, is without bounds! It's been a long time coming!
I can't stop smiling.
I woke up yesterday, the first day for both shows to begin, with my plumbing in the bathroom I use completely overflowing (all over the floor of the bathroom and adjoining bedroom -- I've never seen such a mess!). It seemed like another metaphor, perhaps, for pent up emotions that finally broke through and just needed to "let loose." On the phone with 24/7 emergency plumbing at 4 a.m. Couldn't believe that was happening, in addition to needing to trundle in the wee hours to car, Qual Gardens, and a room frull of wonderfully warm and loving people who would be seeing my art. Thank goodness, all worked out well, everything was fixed and my dear friend Cynthia, who was helping me, and I were able to leave in time. It was an absolutely scrumptuous day in every way possible. I had a little floor cushion I was able to lay down on during the seminar/show and relax, talk to people as able and sell alot of art! Plus I have another two days for the show. It is just so good to be stepping out again, albeit with about 1/4 of my normal vigor, but stepping out nonetheless.
Alot was said during the seminar (more like a retreat-like atmosphere) about dropping "belief systems" and being in the "Mystery" of life, letting life "be" since we really don't have control anyway for so much that happens to us, though we often think we do! That has been such a theme all my life as one who has strongly believed in that "make it happen" attitude. Not that that is a bad thing either. But then Leukemia comes along and all bets are off. The moorings are unpinned and the little boat of my life is set adrift in a moonless ocean. The seeming darkness surrounds my little boat. Will it reach the shore? Where am I in this vast sea with the waves whipping up around me? It feels like a very healthy place, spiritually. Nothing to look to, be with, except love, kindness, friends, family -- and the present moment. Ah, surrender to that place of "unknowing"!
Now my goal is to stay in what they refer to as a "deep remission." The experimental drug, Rituxan, that targets the CD-20 protein on the molecules of people with B-cell Leukemia (the anti-body I'm taking) seems to be working! I'm hopeful that I can keep this thing at bay while I continue to surge forward in strengthening my immune system and, perhaps against all "traditional" odds, beat this disease! At some point I will get back into the copper chelation through Mederi. Am continuing to work wtih Tibetan medicine and the cold energy. In my opinion, the cancer doesn't have a chance! Through Grace, I keep beating it back, somehow, in spite of setbacks!
Am up again early after just 4 hours of sleep.....counting my many blessings and grateful for another day.
Love to each of you,
Heidi
I got news on Friday that my white blood count in spinal fluid was a mere two! (down from 1600 about 3 weeks ago) with no signs of cancer cells. I've been elated ever since. Truly elated. Coming a day before doing two art shows -- one at the Quail Gardens in Encinitas and the other at a Yoga studio in Vista.... well, the news couldn't have come at a better time. For many months now, I've been in and out of the hospital or coping with some pain, "setback," or other tedius situation. This weekend, the clouds opened up, the sun is shining, flowers are beginning to bloom along the roadside in North County San Diego -- it is a metaphor for stepping back into life again. Yes, my energy, physically, is extremely low, but my heart energy, my enjoyment, the fun I'm having showing about 30 pieces between the two shows, is without bounds! It's been a long time coming!
I can't stop smiling.
I woke up yesterday, the first day for both shows to begin, with my plumbing in the bathroom I use completely overflowing (all over the floor of the bathroom and adjoining bedroom -- I've never seen such a mess!). It seemed like another metaphor, perhaps, for pent up emotions that finally broke through and just needed to "let loose." On the phone with 24/7 emergency plumbing at 4 a.m. Couldn't believe that was happening, in addition to needing to trundle in the wee hours to car, Qual Gardens, and a room frull of wonderfully warm and loving people who would be seeing my art. Thank goodness, all worked out well, everything was fixed and my dear friend Cynthia, who was helping me, and I were able to leave in time. It was an absolutely scrumptuous day in every way possible. I had a little floor cushion I was able to lay down on during the seminar/show and relax, talk to people as able and sell alot of art! Plus I have another two days for the show. It is just so good to be stepping out again, albeit with about 1/4 of my normal vigor, but stepping out nonetheless.
Alot was said during the seminar (more like a retreat-like atmosphere) about dropping "belief systems" and being in the "Mystery" of life, letting life "be" since we really don't have control anyway for so much that happens to us, though we often think we do! That has been such a theme all my life as one who has strongly believed in that "make it happen" attitude. Not that that is a bad thing either. But then Leukemia comes along and all bets are off. The moorings are unpinned and the little boat of my life is set adrift in a moonless ocean. The seeming darkness surrounds my little boat. Will it reach the shore? Where am I in this vast sea with the waves whipping up around me? It feels like a very healthy place, spiritually. Nothing to look to, be with, except love, kindness, friends, family -- and the present moment. Ah, surrender to that place of "unknowing"!
Now my goal is to stay in what they refer to as a "deep remission." The experimental drug, Rituxan, that targets the CD-20 protein on the molecules of people with B-cell Leukemia (the anti-body I'm taking) seems to be working! I'm hopeful that I can keep this thing at bay while I continue to surge forward in strengthening my immune system and, perhaps against all "traditional" odds, beat this disease! At some point I will get back into the copper chelation through Mederi. Am continuing to work wtih Tibetan medicine and the cold energy. In my opinion, the cancer doesn't have a chance! Through Grace, I keep beating it back, somehow, in spite of setbacks!
Am up again early after just 4 hours of sleep.....counting my many blessings and grateful for another day.
Love to each of you,
Heidi
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
Update
Dear friends and family,
Well, things were going along great until my cold or flu got a whole lot worse in the night last night....just a few days from my much anticipated art show! I was merely congested before, but last night got a horrible sore throat that will keep me in bed today. I've written to Dr. Polikoff, who I see tomorrow, asking if it would be advisable for me to get a shot that will boost my white blood cells so I can fight this bug better. I'm sure my WBC is low.
On a positive note, I saw Dr. Lobsang yesterday and he gave me some tibetan herbs that will help with the infection, with my immune system and detoxing my liver. Have any of you had tibetan herbs? You have to chew them and swallow with water. They taste like dirt! But I'm doing it. Guess you can say I'm HIGHLY motivated! Amsheva will come by at 10:30 this morning for more cold energy. It works on viruses too...not just cancer....so I'm hoping to get a boost from that too.
The most remarkable thing has been happening with the cold energy lately. I've had experience with it for years now but I have never felt it so strong in my body. I take this as a positive thing. For the full hour she is working on me, it's like I'm going down into this icey cold chamber. It is sooooo cold that it actually burns, which means it's working. I'd like to think that finally, finally, I've learned whatever it is I'm to learn from this experience (Leukemia) and all my irregular cells are giving themselves up to the freezing so they can move on too (i.e. DIE!!!). I know that sounds a bit odd. Amsheva has never experienced the cold energy like this either. Very interesting indeed.
In spite of everything over the last few weeks -- the relapse in my CSF, the virus, the incredible discomfort on so many levels (won't bore you with the gory details), I've been remarkably bouyant, except for a meltdown or two! They are to be expected. I'm human! Pretty much nothing is working right in my body now and I need all kinds of support just to get through the day. My mouth sores prevent me from eating about 80% of food I would normally eat. They are so painful!
Am not sure where this bouyancy is coming from, but I'll take it! Am working on all fronts now. For some reason I feel very blessed at the moment. What mystery is taking place I do not know.....
Not sure if I ever shared this painting (below) with you all. I did it after I got out of the hospital in 2011 to "cell"-abrate the new creation of health cells.
Love to you all,
Heidi
Well, things were going along great until my cold or flu got a whole lot worse in the night last night....just a few days from my much anticipated art show! I was merely congested before, but last night got a horrible sore throat that will keep me in bed today. I've written to Dr. Polikoff, who I see tomorrow, asking if it would be advisable for me to get a shot that will boost my white blood cells so I can fight this bug better. I'm sure my WBC is low.
On a positive note, I saw Dr. Lobsang yesterday and he gave me some tibetan herbs that will help with the infection, with my immune system and detoxing my liver. Have any of you had tibetan herbs? You have to chew them and swallow with water. They taste like dirt! But I'm doing it. Guess you can say I'm HIGHLY motivated! Amsheva will come by at 10:30 this morning for more cold energy. It works on viruses too...not just cancer....so I'm hoping to get a boost from that too.
The most remarkable thing has been happening with the cold energy lately. I've had experience with it for years now but I have never felt it so strong in my body. I take this as a positive thing. For the full hour she is working on me, it's like I'm going down into this icey cold chamber. It is sooooo cold that it actually burns, which means it's working. I'd like to think that finally, finally, I've learned whatever it is I'm to learn from this experience (Leukemia) and all my irregular cells are giving themselves up to the freezing so they can move on too (i.e. DIE!!!). I know that sounds a bit odd. Amsheva has never experienced the cold energy like this either. Very interesting indeed.
In spite of everything over the last few weeks -- the relapse in my CSF, the virus, the incredible discomfort on so many levels (won't bore you with the gory details), I've been remarkably bouyant, except for a meltdown or two! They are to be expected. I'm human! Pretty much nothing is working right in my body now and I need all kinds of support just to get through the day. My mouth sores prevent me from eating about 80% of food I would normally eat. They are so painful!
Am not sure where this bouyancy is coming from, but I'll take it! Am working on all fronts now. For some reason I feel very blessed at the moment. What mystery is taking place I do not know.....
Not sure if I ever shared this painting (below) with you all. I did it after I got out of the hospital in 2011 to "cell"-abrate the new creation of health cells.
Love to you all,
Saturday, February 2, 2013
Peter's Brother Passed Away
When I saw this picture the words came "King of the Forest and all dominion thereof!" Deep down, Peter is a lover, the best of friends, strong in moral character and the zanniest, most creative man I know!
Our prayers go out to Chris for a peaceful transition into the beyond where he will have greater range in his ongoing journey. I so glad Peter and his sisters where there with him....
My love to dear Peter, my compassion and sympathy for this loss. The cycles continue.....
Love, Heidi
Friday, February 1, 2013
Things are Going Well at the Moment!
Hello everyone!
I had a good day yesterday. Saw Dr. Polikoff. My white blood cell count is way down. We do a cytology test next week to look for cancer cells, but the low white blood cells indicate there is very little cancer left in my CSF. The treatments are working to get me back into remission. Dr. P said he has never seen anyone respond as quickly as me -- attributed to all the prayers, cold energy, rituxan, love and positive energy. Oh yes, and GRACE!
Have a very busy week coming up. I see the Tibetan doctor, Dr. Dhoundup, on Tuesday and I'm really looking forward to that. Talk to Dr. Bricca on Monday. Am eager to get a plan going where are the parts of my care team are working together.
Am reflecting deeply these days about the cold energy. Could it alone be the cure for me, along with the supplements? Amsheva thinks so. Or is it better to do "this and that" to keep it at bay? I've had, what I'd call, mixed results....but mostly miraculous results! Yet just when I think it's all gone, the cancer cells pop up again! Am I not being diligent enough with the supplements? Oh, if only it would work WITH chemo...it does work with the anti-body Rituxan, thank goodness. I'm VERY responsive to methotrexate; when on it, they can't find any cancer cells. What an interesting situation at the moment. I sit betwixt and between choices again. Mederi and Tibetan medicine work with chemo and Rituxan AND cold energy. I like having options, given what I've been going through for 2 plus years. I do the cold energy as a maintenance and I'm always so shocked, actually, when I hear the Leukemia is back. Yet it saved my life...of this I'm sure.
So I just take it a day at a time now. I guess my goal is to get the report that they can't find any cancer again and go full steam ahead with Tibetan medicine, Mederi and cold energy, copper chelation AND rituxan! Thank you for your prayers that in all these steps and stages I follow the light and my intuition.
Meanwhile, my art show is coming along. I'm enjoying the early mornings when I can't sleep, usually because of the steriod I'm on. It's a time to be with myself, to read, meditate and enjoy the silence.
Peter is in Portland with his younger brother, Chris, who is dying. Wish I could be there with him. We are all facing our mortality here on this earth plane. Most likely Chris will pass in a few days, but you never know. He's in hospice and hasn't been conscious for about 50 hours now. They are keeping him comfortable. He's had a very hard life, his brother. It's comforting to know that Peter's special brand of love and care are with his brother in the end.
Just a brief report for now.... Will report more as there's more to report!
Love,
Heidi
I had a good day yesterday. Saw Dr. Polikoff. My white blood cell count is way down. We do a cytology test next week to look for cancer cells, but the low white blood cells indicate there is very little cancer left in my CSF. The treatments are working to get me back into remission. Dr. P said he has never seen anyone respond as quickly as me -- attributed to all the prayers, cold energy, rituxan, love and positive energy. Oh yes, and GRACE!
Have a very busy week coming up. I see the Tibetan doctor, Dr. Dhoundup, on Tuesday and I'm really looking forward to that. Talk to Dr. Bricca on Monday. Am eager to get a plan going where are the parts of my care team are working together.
Am reflecting deeply these days about the cold energy. Could it alone be the cure for me, along with the supplements? Amsheva thinks so. Or is it better to do "this and that" to keep it at bay? I've had, what I'd call, mixed results....but mostly miraculous results! Yet just when I think it's all gone, the cancer cells pop up again! Am I not being diligent enough with the supplements? Oh, if only it would work WITH chemo...it does work with the anti-body Rituxan, thank goodness. I'm VERY responsive to methotrexate; when on it, they can't find any cancer cells. What an interesting situation at the moment. I sit betwixt and between choices again. Mederi and Tibetan medicine work with chemo and Rituxan AND cold energy. I like having options, given what I've been going through for 2 plus years. I do the cold energy as a maintenance and I'm always so shocked, actually, when I hear the Leukemia is back. Yet it saved my life...of this I'm sure.
So I just take it a day at a time now. I guess my goal is to get the report that they can't find any cancer again and go full steam ahead with Tibetan medicine, Mederi and cold energy, copper chelation AND rituxan! Thank you for your prayers that in all these steps and stages I follow the light and my intuition.
Meanwhile, my art show is coming along. I'm enjoying the early mornings when I can't sleep, usually because of the steriod I'm on. It's a time to be with myself, to read, meditate and enjoy the silence.
Peter is in Portland with his younger brother, Chris, who is dying. Wish I could be there with him. We are all facing our mortality here on this earth plane. Most likely Chris will pass in a few days, but you never know. He's in hospice and hasn't been conscious for about 50 hours now. They are keeping him comfortable. He's had a very hard life, his brother. It's comforting to know that Peter's special brand of love and care are with his brother in the end.
Just a brief report for now.... Will report more as there's more to report!
Love,
Heidi
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