Happy New Year!

Dear family and friends,

I hope everyone has had a wonderful New Year's holiday, with good food, good friends and good times! 

I have not written in my blog recently as it's been a rough few days and I've needed to gather my inner forces.... The chemo of last weekend began to take effect towards the end of this week.  By this I mean that the chemo takes a few days to saturate the cells and they begin to die off.  This sets up a whole chain reaction internally, as you can imagine, with pain and nausea!   By Friday I was pretty much laid out most of the day and have been sleeping off and on since, with an occasional much-appreciated visitor.  With my blood counts extremely low again, it's only been possible for me to walk a few steps without getting dizzy so I've been confined to my bed.    Today they are giving me several types of blood transfusions and -- as I write this -- I'm beginning to feel stronger.  I look at the blood dripping into my veins and wonder who it came from... What's the story of that person's life?  Am so grateful to be feeling a little better through someone's kindness.

I had another atrial fibrillation episode Thursday night so they moved me to the heart floor where they could monitor me more closely.  They will most likely move me back to the chemo floor tomorrow.   I'm getting to know quite a few of the nursing staff in this hospital!  The sweetest, motherly nurse has been on the night shift the last few nights.  She rubbed lotion onto my back and legs.  Little extras are so amazing in a situation like this.  It only took her a few mins., but I'll remember her kindness when looking back on my hospital stay for years to come.

My endurance is certainly getting stretched more than at any other time in my life. I think it's safe to say that every positive quality I have aspired to attain is getting shaken and stirred.  I visualize myself a year from now looking back at all I will have learned from this experience.  A year seems so far away right now, but time does pass exceedingly fast.  I've been in the hospital 1 1/2 months already....  Soon it will be two, then three and at six months I will have reached the end of the induction part of the treatment -- a true cause for celebration.

In the midst of it all I just keep focused on making it through the day with the help of my loved ones.  You all mean more to me than words can say.  

Heart's Love,

Heidi