Good Thursday morning to everyone,

I got some good news yesterday -- my WBC (white blood count) went up quite a bit.  Both my doctors overseeing my treatment were all smiles.  They are beginning to talk about doing the lumbar puncture and spinal chemo within the next few days, depending on my numbers continuing to go up...and then sending me home for a week.  Oh, how I long to see my little casita (home), sleep in my own bed, eat a healthier diet. Spinach, Kale, brussel sprouts, homemade soup....sound so good to me after 6 weeks in the hospital!

Dr. Liow said I am getting close to being half way through with the hospital part of the treatment, though he wasn't sure.  He will tell me tomorrow. I felt euphoric at the news, though I have a feeling it's only about a third completed.  It might not seem to be a big deal, but 1/3 versus 1/2 way through seem lightyears apart to me. Time shifts and changes in some unusual ways when in a confined situation with little control.  That's why there is great wisdom in just focusing on the present.  When the half way mark comes, however, it will be a wonderful turning point.  I will see the light at the end of this dark, difficult tunnel (made brighter by all my friends and the gifts of divine love that have been unmistakably present).

Dr. Liow mentioned once again how difficult the treatment for Leukemia is.  He said that the chemo they use is more toxic, more difficult than any of the other chemos for other types of cancers.  My little, brave body has held up so well under the onslaught!  I talk to my cells and organs all the time and tell them to hang in there....that one day they will be cleansed, purified, fortified with wonderful whole foods and supplements, and that this will all one day be a distant dream.

This journey has been working deeply in my soul, bringing transformation that perhaps could not have come in any other way.  There is absolutely nothing that gets your attention than a life/death situation.  From one day to the next -- everything was different for me.  There was little time to prepare.  I saw how quickly I declined in just a week -- from walking to being in a wheelchair all within days.  It brought me to the edge, you might say, very quickly, where the only place to turn was within, to my inner strength and to the Divine.  Everything else slipped away -- all except my loved ones.  When I've been down, there is always a friend who can lift me up with a word of good cheer, an insight, or just a warm understanding of my circumstances.  That gives me the strength to get through another hour, another day.

One of the beautiful lessons for me is to see how Love shows up in so many ways, in so many forms.  It transcends belief systems.  The sweetest Baptist nurse prayed with me the other morning.  Tears ran down my cheeks -- so touching was her sincerity and kindness.  The hospital Chaplain just poked his head in my door and will come back soon, again to pray with me.  I love connecting with people of all belief systems and religions seeing that underneath them all there is a oneness, a common thread of humanity, tying us all together.

The dearest woman who gives me a foot massage each week is donating her time to help me.  She won't accept any payment as she said it brings her joy to help me.  I got permission from the nurse to get her business cards into the hospital and the nurse will be telling other patients about her so that will increase her business.  How wonderful it feels to be helping her out for the kindness she has shown me.

There is so much I want to share with all of you...so many revelations, insights, new understandings.  I know when this is all over I will have seen it as the greatest blessing in my life....But I do need to get through it first, and I do have my ups and downs!

Sending love to all of you.

Heidi