Hi Everyone,

Still a few more days at home....am starting to prepare myself mentally for the next hospital session.  For the first time in 9 weeks I can walk for about 30 mins. on my own steam and take short trips out (once a day for 30 mins).  After "feeling into" the trip Peter and I had planned for this weekend to the desert we've decided that it would be more prudent to postpone it for sometime in the future when I can truly celebrate my recovery, when nausea is a distant dream, and energy flows through my body with much higher intensity than it does now!  It was a tough decision, but after it was made, I felt at peace.

I have always had a tendency to become too active too soon when unwell....a pattern I am dedicating to changing on this healing journey.  I realized, through the cautionary words of a good friend, that ALL my energy needs to go into healing right now.  There will be plenty of time for travel in the future... 

I'll be posting a fun photo soon -- be sure to check it out.  I haven't yet shown my beautiful bald head!  Now you can see it in an interesting photo out in Peter's backyard.  It is self explanatory....but here's a hint:  I took a tumble...  Fortunately, Peter and I erupted in prolonged laughter...

There are so many lessons in this Leukemia.  Not having "control" over my body (energy-wise) calls for such deep surrender.  My active nature -- a habit of a lifetime -- rises up inside me ....but all I have is a simmer.  There is no "boil" at the moment.  Try as I may with my will, my limbs are weak and I must honor, with patience, the slow healing and recovery process.   I had thought I would be motivated to do many things when home these two weeks.  Have been surprised by how sedentary I have been, how quickly the day goes by...how fleeting time truly is.

One interesting thing to share before signing off... my taste buds have truly been (temporarily) altered through the chemo.  There are so few foods that sound good to me and many, many that I simply cannot get down.  My latest fav?  Avocado sandwiches with dill pickles and plenty of lettuce and tomatoes.  I eat them for lunch and dinner, and nothing else!  Everything else -- pizza, quinoa, even my beloved greens -- are not in the mix at the moment.  Very curious! 

Kaiser is sending home health care to my house twice each week to check on me.  I have only praise for Kaiser...the kindness and efficiency of 99% of the personnel I've come in contact with has been truly remarkable.  Today Jeannie came by to change the dressing on my picc line which I opted to keep in my arm during my stay at home, rather than going through another "installment" episode next Monday when going back to the hosp.  For those of you who don't know what a picc line is -- two tubes are inserted into the upper arm and "threaded" into a vein that goes into the chest.  This is where they administer the chemo and other drugs.  It can stay in the arm for a whole year!

Please feel free to call me any time and, when in the hospital, would love to see any of you!  You are all my lifeline!

Much love!

Heidi