GOOD NEWS!

Dear Family and Friends,

I had the most remarkable day yesterday...  My White Blood Count soared to a whopping 6.3 -- completely in the normal range now. (The nurse just came in when writing this and said that today it is 8.6 and that my platelets are up to 90K!)   This has allowed me to get off the neutropenic diet in the hospital (i.e. no fresh fruit or vegetables) that I've been on for 6 weeks and have my first salad yesterday! 

My main oncologist, Dr. Pollikoff, just came by...  I'll be definitely getting the spinal chemo on Monday and then discharged from the hospital for almost 2 weeks!!!!  When I return I will begin the third module of the chemo...something called mexathrexate... which goes into the brain.  They will need to do a kidney flush because of the toxic amount of chemo in my system, but the doc said it will not be as difficult as the first two modules and has a much shorter recovery time.  Such a relief to hear that.

Yesterday I met with a wonderful contemplative Catholic priest -- Father Justin. (For those of you who have read any of Father Thomas Keating's writings, Father Justin's philosophy is very similar.)  Peter knows him and arranged for him to come to my hospital room.  We talked about Christ Consciousness, about surrendering the self (false self), opening into a more expanded awareness of the mystical nature of Christ and the Divine.   I found it deeply stirring.  He was refreshingly authentic and real.

I took much of what we spoke about into my meditation this morning, gently surrendering this body, personality and self into an expanded space.  To me, surrender is not having to "do" anything and cannot be forced.... it's just a gentle opening and turning over and release.   I experienced a very special sense of well-being, and from there the whole morning unfolded with such good news.  I have needed a day like this.  The beautiful silvery clouds outside my window give way now and then to a brilliant sun....a metaphor for my hospital journey.  The sun came out today in my treatment and I can see, for the first time, that I AM making it through this, that life is full and good, that I am well on my way toward total healing.

Dr. Pollikoff is giving me a "day pass" tomorrow of about two hours, so Peter and I will take a drive and maybe stop somewhere yummy for a bite.  It's hard to believe that soon I'll be able to get out of this hospital gown and into my jeans and sweaters.  Maybe this next week I'll go wig shopping!   Blond?  Red head? Brunette?  I will have fun choosing.

Sending each of you my love and gratitude for your continued interest, care, friendship and love.  I couldn't make it through this without you.

Heidi