Update

Progress is amazing, albeit slow, but ever so gratefully there from week to week.   My last healing session Sunday evening showed only a "wiff" of cancer in my brain.  We are still on a weekly schedule, rather than daily.  Chris said the cancer is very weak and on its way out for good. After next Sunday, if all goes well, I'll be on a monthly "maintenance" schedule for my sessons.  Then, on Sept. 13 -- just a week from this Thurs. -- I'll have my spinal fluid checked by Kaiser.  If cancer shows up, I'll probably go back to daily sessions for awhile. 

One thing is for sure -- my energy is returning and I'm able to have more activity in my life: eating out, taking drives, even brief shopping excursions.  This is all very miraculous as this form of cancer is terminal according to Western medicine. 

After about 7 weeks (just last week, actually) I began to get a constant pain in the back of my head where the cerebellum is.  This is the part of the brain that oversees balance and motor skills.  It feels like nerve pain and I definitely have to be on pain medication around the clock for it.  I still have challenges with my balance.  You wouldn't notice it if you just saw me walking in stride, although I am a bit slower than most people.  But if I turn, get up, get out of a car, etc. am not able to get my balance as smoothly as I used to.  Today I will tell Kaiser about it and they will probably order an MRI to see what's going on.  Hopefully it will be something that will repair over time....neuropathy, for example, sometimes gets better on its own.  I just ordered a fascinating book called   The Brain That Changes Itself   to learn more about brain healing.

This is such a multi-faceted experience.   I can't think of any dimension of my life that is not affected. Someone without the options I've had would have passed on by now.  That is not only a deeply humbling thought, but stirring and "shivering" on a profound level. The intricacies of life, destiny, soul lessons and choice.  I live each day reflecting with appreciation on how these weave themselves into and through our lives in the "seeming" random events that unfold.  The fact that the doctors didn't catch the relapse until it had progressed almost to the point of no return is amazing to me...and yet I believe this gave me the experience of seeing everything through the eyes of LOVE.  Had I not been nearly slipping out of my body, perhaps this would not have been the case. I would never have had this experience that has changed my perspective in so many ways.......

Living with uncertainty.  We all have this, don't we?  Several significant unknowns still exist for me:  does the cancer still remain? Will it come back sooner or later or not at all?  Will the pain in my head ever go away?  Will I be able to walk again as before?  Sometimes we are just not given the answers that the mind, living in a dual world, craves and has become so accustomed to.  My feeling is this is meant to carry us into deeper realms of consciousness, beyond the domain of duality, into the vast stretches of pure being....  We can only surrender linear thinking here and let a larger experience of life have its way with us. 

Thank you for your continuing care, interest and support...Love to you all...

Heidi