Day After Surgery

 

"Ah, as we prayed for human help, angels soundlessly,

with single strides, climbed over our prostrate hearts."  RILKE  July 11, 1912

Who could have known, that exactly 100 years before my Leukemia relapse and entry into the hospital -- to the day! July 11, 2012 -- the poet Rilke would write these beautiful poetic words about the Grace of the Universe that knows our prayers and deepest needs even before we ask and is more ready to give than we are to receive!

I find this truth so uplifting, so heartening, so compelling, that I am rendered speechless -- an interesting feat these days with this potent steroid I'm on!

In the last 50 hours or so since I awoke and traveled to the hospital at 3:45 a.m. Tues. for the surgery, I've probably gotten no more than 5 hours of sleep, intermittenly -- the pain has actually been greater than I anticipated.  But I've enjoyed the "awake" time to a degree and the blessed man-made painkillers too.  They are a real gift at times, I must say.   To feel the pain melt away....   Ahhhhh..... 

We are laughing at my new name:  Ms. Frankenheidistein and the fact that I won't be needing a Halloween costume this year.  You should see all the 24 silver staples in my skull... in tidy little row, like glistening braces on skin-teeth across the right quadrant of my head!

I will make this short for today.  I see Dr. Polikoff tomorrow for my next chemo treatment directly into the reservoir they surgically implanted in my brain.  Actually, I can't imagine now what it will feel like because it is so very sore today.  Embrace the pain, that's really all I can do at this point, and hope to get into remission again as quickly as possible!  No more lumbar punctures!   Hooray!!!!!

I have a list of good questions for Dr. P tomorrow so will surely have more to report soon.  But wanted to write briefly today to thank you for being on my awesome prayer team, answering my call for human help with your angel hearts, as the beautiful quote above expresses.

Here's to our mutual transformation through the very specific dances we are given to quiver through and manifest in this Divine Mystery we call our lives.....

LOVE,

Heidi