Back in the Valley -- Your Prayers are very much needed

My dear Ones,

Peter's email says it best, so I am forwarding this on to you.  It may just be another bump in the road.  I am not giving up.  But it also shows the perniciousness of Leukemia (ALL) in the spinal fluid.  I'm back in the Valley of Cancer.  How long I shall remain here and what my options are at this point are still being reviewed by Peter and I and others.  The thing about Conventional medicine is that it is quick acting, like a sledge hammer, and I need QUICK now to push it all back immeditately.  The decadron they finally gave me in the hospital took my left flank pain away almost immediately.  Decadron is a steroid about 5 times stronger than prenisone, and it also kills cancer cells.  Mystery of mysteries, the cold energy treatments last week didn't pick up the cancer.  That could have been because of me and all the chemo I had this past few months which has dulled my ability to feel it, and feeling it in MY body means my body is taking it.  So I was lulled into feeling that nothing was there.  These relapses in the CSF are like lightning,.,quick, painful because of the nerve involvement. etc. A horrible place to have cancer, I say this with a humble heart.  Maybe someone day, in some life, I will understand why this is how it is.  Acceptance now is my main focus, and to keep moving toward light, love and health....  I love you all,  Heidi

Hi folks--As I think you all may know, Heidi went back into Kaiser hospital thursday night due to severe left flank pain. It was her 3rd ER visit in 5 days and she was thankfully admitted this time. After a couple of days on a pain pump device, they evaluated her cerebro-spinal fluid and found that she likely has relapsed with the leukemia. We won't have 100% confirmation until later today or tomorrow when final lab results are in, but the oncologist told us he is sure that this is the leukemia back in her central nervous system.

So once again everything is moving very fast--major decisions need to be made in next couple of days---for example, whether she undergoes the Ommaya reservoir surgery again to most effectively deliver chemotherapy into her brain.

We are both anxious and worried and sort of stunned...and we're back in our 'war room' mode this morning ---- evaluating options, contacting doctors,etc etc...and what's best is that we are very close and love each other through these turbulent times---it's all precious moments, that's for sure.

love,
Peter