Hi Everyone....
 
To say that this is a time of unexpected twists and turns is an understatment!  When we woke up at 4:30 last Tuesday morning for our trip to Ashland, we learned that our flight had been cancelled!  My Mederi appointment that day was the only time they could see me.  Peter had rescheduled all this clients last week so he could take the week off.  We simply couldn't "reschedule" to another week.  We moaned and groaned over our lost adventure as we finally realized, after two hours of researching other flights out of this area, that we were simply unable to go.
 
We ended up having a SKYPE appointment  -- almost 3 hours -- with a wonderful doctor (and human being) there. His humility, authenticity and thoughtful intelligence about cancer were deeply moving.  I was very encouraged and relieved not to have been hearing all the doom and gloom scenerios I've been hearing from convential medical practioners.  Dr. Bricca's personalized protocol arrived yesterday and I'm still digesting it today.  It is clear that wholistic oncology has evolved in a big way.  It's not "shooting in the dark" and hoping for the best.  They have studies, have seen results, etc.   These are powerful anti-cancer botanicals and clinical grade supplements. My particular form of cancer is rare, he said, so there really aren't statics for my type of cancer, but they (Mederi) have seen positive results that can prolong life with the blood cancers, if not create the inner "environment" for a cure (at least, this is my hope)! This is VERY good news.
 
Meanwhile, I'm waiting to have my appointment with Dr. Gwen Stritter, the doctor who advocates for and researches the best treatments available on the planet for people in my situation.  That will happen next week.  So things are coming together.  When I should stop the chemo is still a question, as is how Kaiser will respond at that time to helping me with various diagnostic tests I will need even though I'm not receiving treatment from them.   It would be very expensive to have weekly blood tests that are paid for "out of pocket" in addition to some of the other treatments they are recommending, plus a whole host of supplements each month...
 
I'm still getting the weekly intrathecal injections of chemo into my spinal fluid and have one today, Thursday. Have had about 5 and with all the other medications I'm taking -- anti-seizure for the botched brain surgery, an antibiotic, still weaning off of the steroid Decadron, etc. -- am extremely weak.  It's difficult, for example, to wash dishes or do anything that requires muscles.
 
I don't have the full functioning of my face back and have to use eyedrops constantly (so my corneas don't get damaged), am still drooling out of one side of my mouth, I've been told I have to be on the anti-seizure medication the rest of my life (though I'm not accepting this) and one of the side effects of this medication is atrial fibrillation, which has become more frequent -- once or twice a week as opposed to once a month.    Plus all the decisions that still need to be made, the daily weakness (it's hard to just walk to the kitchen)....  It's imperative to snatch those little moments of joy when they show up.
 
One of those moments was when Peter and I, very much in need of a "get away," drove all the way up to Carmel (through Santa Barbara, San Luis Obispo, Big Sur) this past week, as an alternative to Ashland.  There was one foggy morning along the 1 highway which hugs the cliffs of Big Sur. Suddenly the sun came out and lit up the side of the mountain where there were lots of shrubs that spiders had woven magical, dew-drenched webs in.  We stood there in awe at nature's "light show." The dew sparkled like lanterns in a distant city....too numerous to fathom and too brilliant to ever forget.  I will carry that memory always. 

Dew

Transparently dimensional

A Universe

In a tiny Drop of Glow

Its wondrous luminosity

A glimpse of Worlds Unseen

 

More soon.  

 

Love to you all!

 

Heidi