Saturday, at the OK Corral

Hello dear friends and family,

Peter just went to the Bistro at City of Hope, giving me time to update my blog.  It's been a bit of a wild journey in ways I didn't expect.  Being away from all my friends and visitors has given me a lot of time alone....more time alone than I've had since the Leukemia started in 2010. It's been good,  though difficult in ways I didn't expect.  Soul time.  Reminds me of that saying I heard years and years ago, "We come alone, we live alone, we leave alone with God alone."   Yes, we have our loved ones and I've come to deeply appreciate that we are social creatures.  At least for me, living in a cave doesn't have appeal as it might for some.  I learn so much from others about life, and about myself.  What better, true-to-life mirror can one have than the reflection we see beaming back to us through another's eyes?  And what a gift.  We could walk through life blind to our true colors -- our edges and curves lost in the midst of our self-deceptions and assumptions.  But those reflections in another's eyes cannot be denied.  Are we open to seeing them?   Do we want to see where they started and where they lead?

Illness is a mirror too.  It somehow brings those soft, vulnerable places to the surface.  Did I say soft?  Sometimes they are hard and crusted over from lack of acknowledgement.  Some are not pleasant

I'm 1/4 the way through the clinical trial.  It's been hard to keep time here.  Is it Saturday? This coming Monday I'll move over to the village bungalow and my friend Gail will be staying with me for next weeks.  Side effects are manageable, so far.  Peter is bellowing out the words "Proof of Heaven" in his goofy, lovable way ....and to let off a little "steam" in this crazy little cooped up room in a small city named Duarte, on planet Earth.  There's a little window I can look out of reminding me of what a tiny speck I am in the infinite scheme of things. So tiny and yet so Infinite.  What an interesting contemplation!  

Pedro and I are going to watch a new TV show HBO...True Detective.   
                                                  Heidi